9 Reasons Why Big Kids are the Bomb

When my kids were younger, I confess I pitied moms of older kids. It seemed to me that as friends' kids got to be about 7 or 8, the kids became louder, not quite so adorable, and frankly, kind of annoying. When my oldest started Kindergarten, I mourned. I knew we were entering a new stage in life, and that my daughter would change in some amazing ways, but I knew that she would soon be almost unrecognizable from the toddler/preschooler I cherished so much, and I dreaded it.

I knew I would love my kids as they grew older, but what I didn't know is that these years would bring their own magic that would sweep me up completely, leaving me to wonder how I ever could have thought that the preschool years would be my favorite. 

My older two kids are 8 and almost 7, and they have opened up a whole new world of parenting and family for me.

1. Sharing Hobbies

This picture was the absolute highlight of my two weeks of Christmas break. Last winter I fell in love with cross-country skiing, and this winter we bought stuff for the kids so that they could learn as well. Over the break, my husband and I took them to a local trail we love to ski, and I felt like my heart was going to explode with happiness. "Here I am, doing what I love! And my kids are loving it too!" I kept sneaking glances at them, their flushed and happy faces, their quiet concentration - surrounded by our beautiful Alaskan trails - and I truly couldn't imagine a happier place to be.

2. Watching Them Learn is Amazing

While of course I cherish the memories of those first shaky steps toward walking, watching and listening to the things they learn as older kids is so cool. The other day, my 6-year-old and 8-year-old, who are in a 1/2 combo class together, were having a conversation about supply and demand and I swear it was the cutest thing I've ever heard. Beginning with learning to read, and moving on up through multiplication and division (and supply and demand) I have been endlessly fascinated to watch them learn these big-kid skills. Just watching how their brains put information together, process it, and internalize it - both of them so different in their learning - it never gets old for me.

3. Playing Games

I love that the kids are old enough to play games that the whole family can legitimately enjoy. Our family just discovered Ticket to Ride and Apples to Apples Disney, and we've been having so much fun. The games don't end in tears, there's no careful calculations on the parenting pros and cons of "letting" them win Candyland - just fun. Together.

4. Long Conversations on the Beach

Not really on the beach. But I LOVE talking to my kids now that they're older. The other night at bedtime tuck-ins, my (always-stalling) 8-year-old and I had an in-depth conversation on teacher's unions, health insurance, and career choice. And then sometimes we're just silly and laughing, and sometimes I'm hearing about their day, down to the last detail. But I can get lost in conversations with them in a way that's brand new, and something I hope I have at least 50 more years to enjoy. 

5. Just this:

"I'll take the yellow cup. I don't care what color I have." I fall to the ground in worship.

6. Sharing Books & Music

My own kids aren't quite old enough for this year, but my 10-year-old cousin is a reader, like me. I love curling up on the couch with her and looking for new books on Goodreads, reading the same ones at the same time, and discussing them afterwards. My kids and I also like the same music, and rock out together to our favorite Pandora stations. Shhhhh.... I'm a terrible parent in what I let my kids listen to. I did feel vaguely ashamed last night when my kids and I were all dancing and singing to lyrics that included, "Says she won't, but I bet she will." Uh, whoops. And let's not discuss Blurred Lines.

7. They Get Funny

Sarcasm and teasing are some staples of our family dynamics, and as my kids get older, they're definitely learning! Listening to them play with language and come up with jokes that are actually funny, make a hilarious remark with perfect comedic timing, or lovingly tease me about all the naps I take - while both my big kids were funny as preschoolers, they are getting downright hilarious now.

8. They're Still Adorable

How could I have thought older kids weren't cute? They may be getting less cute to strangers and acquaintances, and I'd be lying if I said that my precocious 4-year-old doesn't captivate every crowd, but my older kids are at this beautiful stage where I can still see the little people they were, and I can catch a glimpse of the big people they are going to become. Which leads me to....

9. They Become People

I love watching my kids grow into themselves. What sports and activities do they choose? One is obsessed with sports and learning to play hockey, the other loves fashion and carefully plans out each accessory. Who do they hang out with at school? How do they handle challenges? What do they think about social issues? I feel now, more than ever, I am starting to glimpse my kids as tweens, as teenagers, as adults. I feel like I'm getting to know them as people. And pretty cool people, at that.

What a gift of parenting, yes? To think that every stage is the best? I anticipate some challenging years ahead, but I know that these guys will continue to grow and amaze me in ways I could never now imagine. But for today, I feel like I'm in parenting nirvana. Though I have probably just jinxed myself, and tomorrow will end with a foot-stomping, sobbing tantrum of epic proportions. Because those still happen.

How to Speak Kid: Phrase Your Redirection in the Positive

This post is part of a series I'm starting on my blog called "How to Speak Kid," about how to talk to your kids so that they'll (hopefully) listen, do what you ask, and grow up to be pretty cool people while they're at it. I'm not promising magic, but hopefully it'll give you some new tools for your parenting toolbox. As a mother of 3 and a full-time teacher, I'm always on the lookout myself for new ways to manage behavior and understand kids!

Today's Tip: When correcting behavior, make sure you tell your kids what you WANT them to do, not just what you DON'T want them to do!

As parents, each day we have many delightful opportunities to redirect our kids' behavior. It's important to be careful that we're phrasing our redirection in the positive, so that our kids know what it is we DO want, rather than just being told to stop a behavior. A toddler, particularly, doesn't always have the developmental capacity to replace the behavior with a different one without some help. 

When you tell your daughter, "Don't run in the road!" sometimes the only phrase left rattling around in her head is, "Run in the road! Run in the road! Run in the road!" Instead, if she hears the phrase, "You need to stay on the sidewalk!" then the phrase in her brain is "Stay on the sidewalk! Stay on the sidewalk!" and she is then able to adjust her behavior more quickly when she knows what it is she should be doing. This is especially important when you're redirecting on the fly, and you're expecting a change of behavior within seconds. If you expect a kid to change their behavior that quickly, help them out a little and let them know the best way to do it.

It seems instinctual to adults, but sometimes when we say things like, "Don't hit! Stop running! Stop being rough with your brother! Don't color that wall! Don't leave your bike right there!" etc., a child simply cannot come up with an appropriate replacement behavior on their own. And that's where we come in as parents. It's not that you can't tell your kid not to do something, but just make sure that along with it, you include the behavior that you DO expect. 

I can just hear people saying, "Well, they should know what I expect!" Should they? Do they? Maybe. I don't know. When was the last time you were 3? Regardless, it's more helpful to phrase your expectations positively. Focus on the behavior that you expect and want to see, communicate that, make it a part of your daily conversation, and hopefully you'll see some positive changes! This, for me, is one of the tools in my parenting toolbox that elicits positive change most reliably. And it's an easy one. Can't beat that.

Other posts about How to Speak Kid:

• Introduction
• When I Was Little
• Baby in the House

How-Tuesday: Making a Behavior/Allowance Chart

So I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to start giving my kids an allowance. In a Love & Logic class I took a few months ago, the teachers talked about the importance of letting your kids have money and make mistakes with money, in order to learn valuable lessons about finances. My husband and I went back and forth about the best way to do the allowance, and finally came up with this.

Many times my career as a teacher accidentally seeps into my home life, and this is one of those cases! I decided to use a clip chart, like I do in my classroom. I separated it into 5 sections, and they start in the middle each day. They can move their clip up for doing what they're asked the first time we ask them, or for being particularly helpful. They move their clip down if they're not doing what we ask. If their clip is in the top 3 sections by the end of the day, they get a star. Five stars at the end of the week earns a dollar in allowance. Another dollar can be earned on Saturdays by doing Job Jars.

To make the clip chart, I cut 5 different sheets of scrapbook paper to 8.5"x 2.5" and then arranged them on a piece of cardstock, lightly gluing them down (not sure why my model is so resentful - I didn't actually want her in the picture anyway).

 Then I just put the words on each row.... (Download here if you want - sorry, cute font didn't make it over to Google Docs)

 .... and ran it through my trusty laminator! (The Purple Cow one from Costco - love it!)

 Here it is hanging on the fridge with their clips, which I'll let them decorate to tell them apart. Hanging below is where we'll put the stars they earn each day.

We've been using this system for about 2 weeks and it's working great so far! I'm a softie and give them a warning before I make them move their clip, and I swear to you every time I say "Warning!" it sends my kids scrambling!

When they get the money for their allowance, they can either save up for something they want at the store, or buy something from our Prize Box, which is made up of toys I find on mega-clearance and the dollar bin (which I then mark up a little bit from what I paid, hee hee). So far, they've been loving it!

How to Speak Kid: Baby in the House!

For me, one of the most stressful things about having a new baby was dealing with my other kids. My first two kids are 18 months apart, and from the beginning, I made a goal. When my older kids needed to be disciplined or reminded of a rule, I would try to make it as separate from the baby as possible. I didn't want them to feel that our rules were changing just because there was a baby in the house, and I didn't want to create unnecessary resentment. Their lives are going to be different enough - focus on what is the same. Even if the baby is the reason for the redirection, try to rephrase what you're saying so that it doesn't seem like everything is about "the baby, the baby, the baby!" Can you tell I'm an oldest child myself?

Mostly for me this centered on noise. There is nothing more aggravating than spending two hours getting a baby down for a nap, only to have him awakened by a shriek from an older sibling. While it's tempting to hiss, "Be quiet! The baby is sleeping!" (emphasis everywhere), take a moment and think. Can they normally scream in the house? Not in mine. Just as easy to say, "You need to use a quiet voice. We don't scream in our house." Takes the baby right out of the equation. You don't need to blame the baby for wanting a quiet house if that's always been your rule.

Other times you might want to use this technique?
*"Slow down. You're getting a little bit crazy for inside," versus, "Stop running! You are going to step on Sammy while he's doing his tummy time!"
*"I know you'd like to eat at McDonald's, but let's do that for dinner instead," versus, "We can't stop for lunch! Baby Charlotte needs her nap!"
*"Sure, I'll play Candyland with you! Go get it set up and I'll be ready in a little while," versus, "No, I can't play Candyland with you right now - I'm nursing Cam!"

Even when you have a new baby, try to talk with your kids the way you used to. Think of how you would have handled the behavior before the baby came, and go with that. You have parenting expectations for them that have nothing to do with the new baby, so make sure you're communicating that consistency to them.

Check out my other posts on "How to Speak Kids" here and here! 

How to Speak Kid: When I Was Little...

Whoops!  Forgot to ever post this here on my own blog! I originally posted this as a guest post over on Welcome to the Mouse House.

Here it is:

Normally I blog about the typical day-to-day stuff - organization, recipes, crafts, etc., but today I'm going to touch on an idea I've found helpful in parenting. This post will be the first of a series I'm starting on my blog called "How to Speak Kid," about how to talk to your kids so that they'll (hopefully) listen, do what you ask, and grow up to be pretty cool people while they're at it. I'm not promising magic, but hopefully it'll give you some new tools for your parenting toolbox. As a mother of 3 and a full-time teacher, I'm always on the lookout myself for new ways to manage behavior and understand kids!

Today's Tip: Use stories about your younger self to help kids understand their feelings and handle disappointment

Me, circa 1988 or so...

No, I'm not going to say to start out by saying, "You think you have it bad? I had to walk to school a mile each day in the snow! And it was uphill both ways!" This is different - sometimes I tell my kids stories about myself when I was little as a sneaky parenting technique. One way I use this technique is when I think they're not really thinking through or being honest about how they feel, for whatever reason. It opens their minds to a different way of looking at a situation, without being made to feel like I'm ordering them to think about it that way. I also use it to empathize with them, to help them to know that I understand how they feel, and sometimes that can go a long way in healing a broken heart.
 
For instance, my 7-year-old daughter recently wanted to go to a sleepover that her Girl Scout Troop was having. I didn't feel comfortable with this, since she's never had a real sleepover before, and doesn't really know her leaders all that well yet.

I picked her up at 10pm, and I could tell she was disappointed. As she was brushing her teeth back at home, she asked why she wasn't able to stay like the other girls. I knew that if I said, "I was worried you'd be scared," she would immediately respond, "I wouldn't be scared!" So instead I said, "Well, I was just thinking about when I was 7. I'm not saying you would feel this way, but when I was 7, I would have been really nervous to spend the night at someone's house that I didn't know very well." She looked down at the ground, silent and thinking. "If I had had an accident in the night, or woke up with a stomach ache, I wouldn't have felt very comfortable going to wake up a grown-up to help me if I didn't know them very well yet. Of course I was fine sleeping over with my cousins, just like you are, but for me it just felt a little bit different when I didn't know the adults very well yet. Anyway, maybe you wouldn't feel that way, but that's what I was thinking about when I said no." "Well," she said softly, "I actually probably would feel that way." And that was the last I heard about the disappointment.

For some reason, this technique seems to give my kids permission to say that they feel the way they really do, or to look at a situation from a different perspective.

I also use this technique a lot to relate to my kids, and help them know that I really relate to their disappointment. For instance, when my oldest is feeling jealous of my youngest, I might say, "You know, when I was little, it was really hard for me when people would always tell my little sister how cute she was, just because she was the baby. Do you ever feel like that?" I feel like I've hit the momma payday when she looks up at me, her eyes lighting up and says, "Yes!" in that voice like, You get it, don't you?

Or, when my kids are feeling bad because their cousins just got a cool toy that they wanted: "When I was little, it was really hard for me when my friends got cool new stuff, even if I knew I'd get to play with it at their house. That can be tough, huh?" 

For some reason, this is so much more effective with my kids than saying, "Oh honey, you're cute too! People just make a big deal over Claire because she's the baby!" Or, "Different kids get different toys. You'll be able to play with that Lego set over at Carter's house any time you want!"

The caveat here is that you're not trying to lead them into feeling something different. I'm not trying to brainwash them into feeling a certain way, I use this when I know how they feel, and I want them to either recognize it, or know that I understand it.

So the next time you're helping your kids to handle disappointment or sadness, think about your own childhood. What experiences can you draw from to show them that you understand how they are feeling, or to help them understand their feelings?

"How to Speak Kid"

 Photo by AlaMODE Photography in San Diego

These are my little guys. They're the ones I spend my time enjoying, loving, crying over, and hiding from. Parenting can be tough - it's a lot of pressure to raise a happy, well-adjusted child, and stay sane while doing it. One thing that makes parenting 3000 times easier is good communication. I feel lucky that I've had lots of practice talking to kids, and now it's something that comes really easily to me, and I'd love to share some tips and tricks. 

Tomorrow I'm starting a series of posts called, "How to Speak Kid," and they'll revolve around communication with your kids. How to speak to your kids so that they'll (hopefully) listen, do what you're asking, and grow up to be pretty cool little people.

I don't claim to be a parenting expert, but I did want to give you a little bit of background so that you know where I'm coming from. The emphasis of my Bachelor's degree was Child Development, and after college, I taught preschool for several years. I taught full-time, which meant that I had 4 different classes every year - each with 20-25 kids. So throughout the week, I would interact with roughly 100 kids ages 3-5. And I did this for about 3 years, meaning I dealt with about 300 preschool-aged kids, day in and day out. Yes, they'd go home to their parents after 3 hours, but I still had to figure out what made them tick, so that I could get them to sit and listen to stories, pick up toys, and play nicely with the other kids on the playground. After my preschool teaching days, I went back to school and got my credentials in Elementary Ed. and Special Ed., and began my teaching career as an elementary Resource teacher. I'm now in my fifth year of working with kids with mild to moderate disabilities, from learning disabilities to emotional disturbances. And in the middle of that career, I took a break to have 3 kids in the space of 4 years, and enjoy about 5 years as a stay-at-home mom. I'm now back at work, and constantly participating in Professional Growth opportunities that help me to understand and better relate to kids.

I've known some amazing kids. And I've known some really, REALLY challenging ones. Not every trick works for every kid, and not all the tips I share will feel natural to you. But hopefully throughout the series, you'll read something that will work for you, or that you can keep in the back of your mind for a future situation. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and have conversations with my readers about what works for YOU. So check back tomorrow - I'll link to the post from here tomorrow (I'll be guest blogging), and post it here later this week!

Special Dates

Growing up the oldest of 3 kids with a total of 3.5 years between us, nearly every memory I have of being little includes my little brother and sister. Screaming matches over what section of the silverware tray the medium-size forks go in, playing Barbie boarding school where there was always something wildly inappropriate happening, being held hostage at approximately 4 million of my brother's Little League games, staying up super late talking in bed, etc. But some of my BEST memories of childhood are special times that were just me and my parents.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change the chaos of having my siblings for the whole world, but it's hard to focus on one kid when you're in the middle of a child-raising maelstrom. Being the oldest and naturally the most exquisitely behaved, I often felt a bit lost in the shuffle.

For that reason, I have been trying to do special one-on-one dates with my kids. Nothing expensive, just some personal time away from the chaos that is our home life. I recently took my 5-year-old son to Barnes and Noble and as he was playing trains in the kids' area, I just noticed him. He has a beautiful profile. He has a freckle on his ear. He needs a little bit of a haircut. I felt like he was a newborn again, that time where your whole attention is focused on this child you created. He was so happy too, choosing which aisles we went down, how long we spent in any given section of books, leading me by the hand with this look of absolute joy on his face.

We were there for his free birthday cupcake, and as he ate, I asked him about his favorite thing from when he was 4. I reminded him of the fun things we had done, the trips we took, and all the big and exciting things I could think of. "Well," he said, "my favorite thing about being 4 was when you took me on my first special date to McDonald's." That was his favorite thing about his entire year.

I was again reminded of how important these times are to my kids this morning at my son's preschool Mother's Day art gallery, where the picture of me had a caption that read: My mom is special because she takes me on little dates.

Hanging out with your kids is so important. Listen to them. Hear them. Notice them. Make them feel special, because they are. They're not just one of your kids. They are their own little person, and you might be surprised at the stuff they come up with to say when it's just the two of you.

In our family, we actually schedule the dates with the kids. We alternate kids and parents, so we both get opportunities to go out with all the kids. So, the first time around it will be Kid 1/Dad, Kid 2/Mom, Kid 3/Dad, and then the next time it will be Kid 1/Mom, Kid 2/Dad, and Kid 3/Mom. We try to do two a month, so about every other week.

Here are some dates in the $0-$10 range that my kids have picked or I have thought of for the future.

• Exploring Barnes and Noble, reading some books together, buying a book of their choice
• Getting frozen yogurt
• Walking around the mall and getting an accessory for their Build-A-Bear
• Happy Meal and playing in the playland at McDonald's
• Taking a walk together
• Getting nails painted at the salon
• Going on a bike ride
• Flying kites
• Playing at the park
• Going on a nature walk
• Doing the Saturday activity at Home Depot/Lowe's/Lakeshore, etc.
• Going out for a bagel or doughnut for breakfast
• Dollar movie
• Getting smoothies
• Go swimming
• Feed the ducks

Any ideas to add to the list?

Keeping your Parent Power

Dear Other Mom at Taco Bell,
I wish I could have come up to you tonight and told you something. Of course, a stranger coming up to you at Taco Bell offering unsolicited parenting advice would have been, like, the weirdest thing ever, so of course I didn't. But I wanted to.

Believe me when I say I'm not a perfect parent myself. Exhibit A? I was feeding my children Taco Bell for dinner. However, I so wanted to somehow convey to you the parenting power of doing what you say you're going to do. Guess what? Even the first time you told your kid that you were going to leave Taco Bell if he didn't sit back down at the table, I didn't believe you. And neither did your kid. If you're going threaten a consequence, you gotta be willing to follow through.

Listen, I have BEEN there. Any time you are at Taco Bell for dinner on a weeknight, with your two little kids, pregnant, and with no significant other around to help, it's a dire situation. Your stress was written all over your face, and I have felt that. On nights like that, the Taco Bell dinner is more than crappy Mexican food and a fountain soda. It is a lifeline to sanity. On nights like that, my child could have literally been setting fire to the Taco Bell, and I wouldn't have gotten up and left. "Don't mind him," I would have told the cashier, "I'll deal with him in a second. Just give me my &$%*# crunchy tacos so I don't have to cook anything!"

So..... you're NOT going to leave Taco Bell if your kid gets up from the table. I know that, you know that, and your kid knows that. So why threaten it? The first time was doubtful - by the eighth or ninth threat, it was actually laughable. Never threaten your kid with something that is so painful to you that you're going to be reluctant to follow through. If you aren't going to leave Taco Bell (and girl, I don't blame you), then use a different consequence, one that inconveniences your child more than it inconveniences you.

You are the authority, you have the power, you are the momma. And your kids have to believe that. They have to know that if you tell them there's a consequence for their behavior, that there will BE one. Otherwise, to be blunt, your efforts at discipline are just a joke to them. Why would they do what you say if they know you don't mean it? So pick a consequence that's gonna hurt them more than it hurts you, think twice before you say it, and if you say it, you gotta mean it. And, in the meantime, make sure you get a refill on that soda, because if anything's going to save your sanity, it's a Dr. Pepper.

Down and Dirty: Motherhood Real-Life

I have been lucky enough to have lots of wonderful girlfriends who aren't afraid to be real about motherhood and put the truth out there. However, I know that not everyone has those friends, and that some people wonder if they're the only one in the world who feels "this way" about motherhood. You're not. There are some people (probably) who adore every minute of motherhood, and they cherish every stage of infancy and childhood, etc. But from my experience, most of the rest of us don't feel like that. So let's get real.

The obvious disclaimer is that I adore my kids. I love being a mom. I am grateful I can get and stay pregnant, and deliver a healthy child. But it's not all pink onesies and roses. Motherhood can be hard. Really hard.

I want to do a couple of posts about the less glamorous side of motherhood, the feelings that are sometimes hard to talk about. And for this first one, I want to start at the beginning.

When I was pregnant with my first, a woman I know had us over for dinner and gave me some advice. "Just so you know," she said in her timid, kind voice, "having that first baby is really, REALLY hard. I don't know why, but no one ever told me that. And I wish that they had." I rubbed my belly and nodded, thinking I understood. I didn't then, but I did later.

Having my first baby changed my life. And I kind of liked my life the way it was. I had a job that I was good at, I had friends I loved spending time with, a family I enjoyed traveling to see on a weekly basis, and a husband I didn't see much to begin with. Then.... I had my daughter. And of course in some ways my life began that day. But in other ways, the life I had known ended. And I mourned that. And I felt stupid for mourning it, which made me feel worse.

No longer did I spend my days doing something I felt skilled at. Instead I spent them in the servitude of a screaming infant who apparently hated me. Was I doing this all wrong? Was I bad at this? I hate being bad at things, anything, and this was the biggest thing of all! Did my daughter hate me? Why was she crying so much? No one around to answer my questions other than the internet, which only provided me with horror stories or smugness.

And it was so PERMANENT! Marriage had been a big decision, but if you really regret it, there's always a divorce. But once you have a kid, barring unspeakable tragedy, you have a kid. Even if you don't stay married to the kid's father, even if you don't have custody of that kid, you are a MOM to someone running around on this earth. And that feels pretty heavy sometimes, for a decision that can be made pretty flippantly (or even made for you by good old Mother Nature).

While older women counseled me to "savor every moment," and "enjoy each stage" because "time goes so fast," I was horrified that this was supposedly the pinnacle of motherhood. EVERYONE enjoys this sweet and tiny phase, everyone! Well, not me. It's hard when you don't know their schedule yet. You don't know what their cries mean. They don't seem to know you or love you. You're not sleeping, you're attempting to breastfeed (PS - also HARD!), you can't even figure out how to collapse the stupid stroller while they're squalling in their carseat and all the strangers are looking at you and probably thinking that you are a pretty sucky mom. I remember sitting on the floor of my hallway bawling into my hands while my daughter cried, and wondering if we had enough money in our checking account to leave this mess I'd created and go get a hotel in Palm Springs and lie by the pool sipping a daiquiri (we didn't).

And all the while, every time you go out, you hear this: "Oh, is she a good baby? Is she sleeping through the night? Don't you just love it?" And the answer can't be no! What kind of a mother says no to those things? "A good baby? No, she isn't. She just screams all day. Bummer, huh?" Can't say that.

Honestly, I think it would have alleviated a lot of anxiety for me to just know - it's okay not to love it. The newborn phase is HARD. It's okay, even, to hate it sometimes (that stage, I mean). Now several years later I've had a lot of  laughs with my friends at those early days. If I had a nickle for every time I've said or heard, "If I could give birth to a six-month-old, I would!" then I would have the beginnings of a college fund for my kids. But no one ever said that to me then.

I guess I'm just writing this because I want new moms to know that it's okay to feel really, really overwhelmed by motherhood. It doesn't make you a bad mom, or mean that you shouldn't have had a kid, or that you shouldn't ever have another one. It just means you're exactly like thousands, maybe millions, of other moms out there. It's just not so glamorous to talk about. Anyone else want to 'fess up to having a hard time with the newborn stage? Or am I about to get flamed in a really big way because now you all think I'm an ungrateful, crappy mom? I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous. But.... posting anyway.

How-Tuesday: How to Avoid Awkward Situations With Other Moms (Sometimes)

I read this tip a long time ago and have used it in many situations since then. Memorize this magic line, "Sorry, I know I'm a totally overprotective mom, but...."

Am I an overprotective mom? Nope. Not that I know of. In fact, I would say I err on the side of underprotective. :) But it works in so many situations where you feel the problem is the other mom's kid, but you don't want (or need) to say so. It puts the blame onto yourself, (hopefully) sparing your friend's feelings

You can use this in situations where you don't agree with the other mom's carseat use (or lack thereof), when someone else's kid is a bully and the mom doesn't seem to know or care, a party where you don't feel there's going to be enough supervision, and so on.

Try it out next time you're stuck in an awkward situation with a friend!

How-Tuesday: How to Get Your Kid to Leave the Park

We've all been there. It's time to leave the park and your kid doesn't want to go. Here's how to make it happen.

1. Give your child some warnings. "Jamie, we're going to leave in 5 minutes." "One more minute, Shannon, so do your last fun thing!" The actually timing of these warnings isn't as important as giving them. In fact, I am the laughingstock of my family for my warnings they have absolutely no relationship to real time.

2. Go over and let your child know it's time to leave. My secret weapon here, and in any other situation where I don't think my kid's going to want to go, is to make the next place sound more fun somehow. "Hey, let's go get in the car so we can go home and have some of those dino chicken nuggets you love!" "Go ahead and clean up quickly so we can get home in time to watch Phineas and Ferb!" The idea here is to get your kid thinking ahead, and looking forward to what's next.

3. And if all else fails, pick them up kicking and screaming. We've all been there.

Homemade Baby Food

Making your own baby food is really not as hard as it sounds. I discovered the art of making homemade baby food after buying jar baby food for my twins for about a month. They were big eaters, so the cost of buying jar upon jar of food was getting a bit ridiculous. I decided to look into making my own and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was and how good it made me feel as a Mom. I'm now am on my third baby and have made all of his food thus far. He's been a huge eater as well, so I feel good knowing that I've saved us a little money by taking the time to make my own. Not only that, but I think the food tastes better and has higher nutritional value.

The best website out there (in my opinion), that will walk you through every step and detail is:
http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/

They've got instructions on how to make and freeze your food, details on what's appropriate for each stage/age, recipes for all kinds of baby and toddler finger foods, and much more. I am particular fond of the Sweet Potato Fries in the Baby Finger Foods section of the website.

For any Mom's out there that have thought about trying to do it, I say go for it! There is a bit of a learning curve the first couple of times you do it, but after you get the hang of it it's really slick. Give it a try and have fun!