Monday, January 20, 2014

6 Reasons Why Parenthood is the Best Show You're Not Watching

If you don't already watch Parenthood on NBC, you're missing out on the best show on TV. It's about a family, led by Craig T. Nelson and Bonny Bedelia, their four adult children, and the assorted in-laws and grandkids. All around amazing characters, storylines, dialogue, all of it. Here's what sets it apart from the rest:

The women are not rail-thin fashion models
While the women who play the main characters are all gorgeous, they are not the stick-thin actresses you see on some other shows. None of them are overweight, but they do have bodies that at least resemble real life. They're dressed appropriately for their body type and age, and when the characters are at home with their kids, their wardrobes aren't magazine perfection - they're in cute, comfy, SAHM clothes. Or, sometimes frumpy SAHM clothes. So, pretty true to life.

Realistic Storylines
While of course there are storylines that make me roll my eyes (hello, long-suffering Kristina - can anymore sadness come your way?), I love that there are such realistic storylines. I laughed when Jasmine and Crosby had a new baby, and it wasn't all adorable coos and cuddles - they were fighting about getting up in the night, and Jasmine was angry and resentful when she always had to be the one to feed the baby. I wish that new parenthood was represented this way more often, because it's much more realistic.

Another storyline that I loved (and hated) was when Joel and Julia tried to adopt a baby, and at the last minute, the birth mother changed her mind. There was no happy ending, the birth mother didn't show up to swelling music in the last ten minutes saying never mind, they could adopt the baby. She just... changed her mind. Like women do. And they didn't get the baby they had been planning and hoping for. It was devastating, but wonderful to see represented on TV.

While there are storylines about issues common to many TV shows (infidelity, health problems, alcoholism, etc.), they also touch on other issues more rarely seen (Autism, PTSD from serving in the military, foster care, to name a few).

A Main Character With Asperger's
The first thing that made me fall in love with Parenthood as a show that stood out for the rest was the inclusion of a main character with Asperger's, which is on the Autism spectrum. Autism Spectrum Disorders and other disabilities affect so many families, yet I could count on one hand the number of family sitcoms I've seen where a main character has any sort of disorder or disability. Max's Asperger's isn't a very special episode, and it's not what the show is about. It's just a part of who he is, and a part of what makes their family what it is. Sometimes it's a focus of an episode, sometimes it isn't, but it's just part of Max's character. My heart aches with their family as they make decisions about how to help him navigate life, and while I don't have a child with Asperger's, as a Special Education teacher, it rings true to the issues and conversations I know some parents go through with their children.

Leaning On Family for Help
When I have problems, I don't go to a therapist, a hot neighbor, or even a friend - my first stop is my family. A sibling, a parent, an in-law... somebody who has known me for years and loves me anyway. And I think that most families are this way. What I love about Parenthood is that it shows the characters leaning on each other, going to their siblings, parents, grandparents, or extended family for advice and comfort, something I find sadly underrepresented on TV - and the way they do it here is beautiful.

There's Rarely a Good Guy or a Bad Guy
The show portrays conflicts between spouses, parents and their children, siblings - usually two people who love each other very much. They disagree - sometimes it's major, sometimes minor, but nearly always, there are two defensible sides to the argument. There is no villain of the family, and no angel - just people who love each other, disagreeing about real things, each of them with valid points.

It Gets Me Every Time
I challenge you to watch an entire season of Parenthood and not cry at least a couple of times. If you're like me, it'll be more like every episode. Maybe this shouldn't be on a list of good things about the show, as it sometimes reduces me to shuddering sobs and ugly cries - and I do not look like the lovely Monica Potter, pictured above.

If you haven't been watching it, jump right in. Or catch old episodes on Hulu, Netflix, or watch from the beginning of this season on

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Friday, January 10, 2014

9 Reasons Why Big Kids are the Bomb

When my kids were younger, I confess I pitied moms of older kids. It seemed to me that as friends' kids got to be about 7 or 8, the kids became louder, not quite so adorable, and frankly, kind of annoying. When my oldest started Kindergarten, I mourned. I knew we were entering a new stage in life, and that my daughter would change in some amazing ways, but I knew that she would soon be almost unrecognizable from the toddler/preschooler I cherished so much, and I dreaded it.

I knew I would love my kids as they grew older, but what I didn't know is that these years would bring their own magic that would sweep me up completely, leaving me to wonder how I ever could have thought that the preschool years would be my favorite. 

My older two kids are 8 and almost 7, and they have opened up a whole new world of parenting and family for me.

1. Sharing Hobbies
This picture was the absolute highlight of my two weeks of Christmas break. Last winter I fell in love with cross-country skiing, and this winter we bought stuff for the kids so that they could learn as well. Over the break, my husband and I took them to a local trail we love to ski, and I felt like my heart was going to explode with happiness. "Here I am, doing what I love! And my kids are loving it too!" I kept sneaking glances at them, their flushed and happy faces, their quiet concentration - surrounded by our beautiful Alaskan trails - and I truly couldn't imagine a happier place to be.

2. Watching Them Learn is Amazing
While of course I cherish the memories of those first shaky steps toward walking, watching and listening to the things they learn as older kids is so cool. The other day, my 6-year-old and 8-year-old, who are in a 1/2 combo class together, were having a conversation about supply and demand and I swear it was the cutest thing I've ever heard. Beginning with learning to read, and moving on up through multiplication and division (and supply and demand) I have been endlessly fascinated to watch them learn these big-kid skills. Just watching how their brains put information together, process it, and internalize it - both of them so different in their learning - it never gets old for me.

3. Playing Games
I love that the kids are old enough to play games that the whole family can legitimately enjoy. Our family just discovered Ticket to Ride and Apples to Apples Disney, and we've been having so much fun. The games don't end in tears, there's no careful calculations on the parenting pros and cons of "letting" them win Candyland - just fun. Together.

4. Long Conversations on the Beach
Not really on the beach. But I LOVE talking to my kids now that they're older. The other night at bedtime tuck-ins, my (always-stalling) 8-year-old and I had an in-depth conversation on teacher's unions, health insurance, and career choice. And then sometimes we're just silly and laughing, and sometimes I'm hearing about their day, down to the last detail. But I can get lost in conversations with them in a way that's brand new, and something I hope I have at least 50 more years to enjoy. 

5. Just this:
"I'll take the yellow cup. I don't care what color I have." I fall to the ground in worship.

6. Sharing Books & Music
My own kids aren't quite old enough for this year, but my 10-year-old cousin is a reader, like me. I love curling up on the couch with her and looking for new books on Goodreads, reading the same ones at the same time, and discussing them afterwards. My kids and I also like the same music, and rock out together to our favorite Pandora stations. Shhhhh.... I'm a terrible parent in what I let my kids listen to. I did feel vaguely ashamed last night when my kids and I were all dancing and singing to lyrics that included, "Says she won't, but I bet she will." Uh, whoops. And let's not discuss Blurred Lines.

7. They Get Funny
Sarcasm and teasing are some staples of our family dynamics, and as my kids get older, they're definitely learning! Listening to them play with language and come up with jokes that are actually funny, make a hilarious remark with perfect comedic timing, or lovingly tease me about all the naps I take - while both my big kids were funny as preschoolers, they are getting downright hilarious now.

8. They're Still Adorable

How could I have thought older kids weren't cute? They may be getting less cute to strangers and acquaintances, and I'd be lying if I said that my precocious 4-year-old doesn't captivate every crowd, but my older kids are at this beautiful stage where I can still see the little people they were, and I can catch a glimpse of the big people they are going to become. Which leads me to....

9. They Become People

I love watching my kids grow into themselves. What sports and activities do they choose? One is obsessed with sports and learning to play hockey, the other loves fashion and carefully plans out each accessory. Who do they hang out with at school? How do they handle challenges? What do they think about social issues? I feel now, more than ever, I am starting to glimpse my kids as tweens, as teenagers, as adults. I feel like I'm getting to know them as people. And pretty cool people, at that.

What a gift of parenting, yes? To think that every stage is the best? I anticipate some challenging years ahead, but I know that these guys will continue to grow and amaze me in ways I could never now imagine. But for today, I feel like I'm in parenting nirvana. Though I have probably just jinxed myself, and tomorrow will end with a foot-stomping, sobbing tantrum of epic proportions. Because those still happen.

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Friday, January 3, 2014

Favorite Books of 2013!

I set a goal again in 2013 to read 50 more books. I set this goal in 2012 and blogged about my 4- and 5-star books from that year. Now another year has gone by, and it's time to recommend my favorites from 2013! As always, you can find me on Goodreads if you want another friend to follow!

As I mentioned last year, to me, a 5-star review means that I loved it, couldn't stop thinking about it, and couldn't wait to get back to reading it. Also that I think most people would enjoy reading it. A 4-star review means that I really liked it, couldn't wait to finish it, and I think most people that like the same types of books that I do would enjoy reading it. And again I'll throw in a disclaimer that while I have a low threshold for gore and violence in books, I have a fairly high threshold for sex and language, so there are probably books on my list that would be R-rated in the movie world. Consider yourselves warned. :)

This year I'm going to rank them in order (roughly), starting with my favorite. I made sure to add a review for all my 5-star books if I hadn't already written one. But for my 4-star books, if I originally wrote a review, it's there. If not, it's not.

5-Star Books

WonderWonder by R.J. Palacio
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

By far my favorite book of 2013. I loved it so much that I bought it in hardcover, making it exactly the second book I have purchased in the past 5 years. This is the story of a 5th grader who was born with a facial deformity, and his experiences as he adjusts to going to school for the first time. I loved the characters, the dialogue, and the family dynamics of this book. As soon as I finished it, I was recommending it to everyone I knew!

View all my reviews The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom ThumbThe Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb by Melanie Benjamin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was a historical fiction account of Mrs. Tom Thumb, who essentially spent her life on display at the circus, and how she tried to rise above it. While this is not fact-based enough to be considered a biography, I learned a lot about the era, and the historical figures in the book. I couldn't shut up about this book for like a week after I read it - I wanted to talk about it to everybody!

View all my reviews Okay for NowOkay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Usually for me, a 5-star review is one where I honestly think that ANYBODY would enjoy the book - it's that good. I can't say that's the case here, but here are the reasons I had to rate it 5 stars anyway:
1. On page 3, Gary Schmidt was already describing Doug and his life so perfectly, I had to log back onto Goodreads to see if this book was a memoir. That's how well he captured this character.
2. It's not unusual for me to read late into the night, feeling guilty about it and knowing I'll be tired but it'll be worth it, blah blah blah. The difference last night is that I realized with a jolt at 1:30am that I was a separate person apart from this book - I was so completely immersed in Marysville, New York, circa 1968, that I literally forgot that I was even reading.

It did meet my other 5-star requirement of "not being able to stop talking about it." I wanted to discuss this book with everyone I encountered tonight after finishing it.

Gary Schmidt writes amazing characters. They're unique, they're lovable, they're vulnerable. I was so invested in these characters, that I found myself gasping out loud or breaking into ridiculously huge grins - not normal for me. Anyway, loved this book. Great read.

View all my reviews Memoirs of an Imaginary FriendMemoirs of an Imaginary Friend by Matthew Dicks
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I literally could NOT put this book down. I devoured it in one sitting, and was left wanting more. Though some parts in the middle dragged, the originality of the storyline and the strength of the writing bumps this book up to 5-star territory for me. I was not surprised to read that the author is an elementary school teacher - he captures the elementary school experience so perfectly. In fact, the more I think about why I enjoyed it so much, I realize that he perfectly captured so many things I can relate to - working with students on the Autism spectrum, being a mother, the relationships between staff members at a school, the art of being a teacher, etc. Loved it.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly CloseExtremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I kind of wanted to rate this 4 stars, because the entire time I was reading this, I felt so sad, and it really wasn't a pleasant experience in that way. But I know this is a book that will stick with me, and some of the writing was just so amazing - so 4 stars just didn't really feel right. Poor little Oskar - he just got in my head. It was so heartbreaking to read about his guilt and regrets over the death of his dad. I loved his character. The only thing I didn't like about the book is that it changed narrators, and it was confusing to me at times who was speaking and when in the story they were narrating. I loved the extra story of his grandparents, and I'm glad it's in there, but maybe the audiobook would have been good for me so that I knew who was narrating. Anyway, this was a heavy book about loss and grief, but it was beautifully written and I think I loved it.

 4-Star Books

The Snow ChildThe Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

  The Aviator's WifeThe Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 The Lions of Little RockThe Lions of Little Rock by Kristin Levine
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 Hold StillHold Still by Nina LaCour
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 Me Before YouMe Before You by Jojo Moyes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was really torn between 4 and 5 stars for this book. I loved Lou and Will's love story, and I thought the author painted what I imagine to be a realistic picture of someone in Will's situation. It was a unique and interesting love story and plot. But.... was it amazing? Probably not. But I did really, really enjoy it.

 Looking for AlaskaLooking for Alaska by John Green
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

John Green was the author of my favorite book from last year, The Fault in Our Stars. I love him because he creates such realistic teenage characters and relationships. He really captures the dialogue, friendships, thoughts, and first loves of high schoolers, in a realistic and not-demeaning way. I didn't think this was as wonderful as The Fault in Our Stars, but it was WORLDS better than The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, another teenage/boarding school/feminist/teenage friendship/pranking book. They were so similar in many ways, but John Green just really nails the teenage experience in a way that no one else can. I think I would have been absolutely in love with this book had I read it as a teenager. His characters and their relationships remind me so much of my high school experience. Well, aside from all the drinking and smoking. ;)

 When You Reach MeWhen You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was an easy, quick Young Adult read - got through it in about two hours. I loved the characters and the plot, and never could have put it down.

 The Best Bad Luck I Ever HadThe Best Bad Luck I Ever Had by Kristin Levine
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest TrailWild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A Grown-Up Kind of PrettyA Grown-Up Kind of Pretty by Joshilyn Jackson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I fell in love with the three female characters in this book, and their relationships with each other. I'm such a sucker for books that involve a changing point-of-view, and the relationships between mothers and daughters. I thought the youngest of the three, Mosey, was written as a very true-to-life teenager, and I loved her exchanges with her mother and her grandmother. One of the characters narrating the story has had a stroke, and I found her chapters so interesting, to see how the author had her describe events and her life, even as she's had this "brain event." I was actually enjoying the book so much I toyed with giving it 5 stars, even though I feel stupid doing that for "chick lit" books, but then some of the events at the end got a little ridiculous, in my opinion. But a solid 4-stars. Not a life-changer, but I enjoyed every minute of reading it while snuggled up on the couch.

 GoldGold by Chris Cleave
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

While this won't go down in history as one of my favorites, I did really enjoy it. The ending was so suspenseful to me, I was skipping half a page at a time just trying to see what happened. And while I know that some people found the ending a little too tidy and "Hollywood," I'll be honest - I like my books to end that way. :)

The VoiceThe Voice by Jennifer Anne Davis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Silver Linings PlaybookThe Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Divergent (Divergent, #1)Divergent by Veronica Roth
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 Resolution Round-Up & 2014 Goals!

I don't know what it is, or if it's weird, but I love hearing other people's goals and resolutions. Maybe some of you are the same way? And I absolutely LOVE setting goals! I enjoy having something to work toward, and looking back over past goals and realizing which ones I have met and incorporated into my life is always motivating for me.

Here were mine for 2013. Let's see how I did....

*Pray daily. Failed miserably. We'll try that again for 2014. 
*Nourish my relationships with James and the kids. Be present. Eh, this one was too hard to quantify. What I really wanted when I set this goal was to stay off the computer when my kids were awake, but I was too scared to actually take that step for 2013. But it's on the docket for 2014.
*No Babycenter. It is a waste of time. Goal met!!!!! And this was a HARD one for me. I had spent about 7 years on the Babycenter forums, making friends and developing relationships, getting information and asking/answering questions. But it was becoming a huge black hole for my time, and I was getting sucked into too much internet drama. I did have to pop in for the Amazon deals thread to get good deals on my Christmas shopping, but I stayed out of the forums and discussions all year, which was a major thing for me. 
*Read 50 more books. Goal met!
*Maintain weight and focus on being fit and healthy. Goal met! Well, if I don't count the five pounds I just gained over the break (which I don't - totally temporary puffiness, right?). I did a much better job this year focusing on having a healthy body, doing sports and activities that I enjoy, and working on accepting my body.
*Participate in the hobbies and activities I already enjoy. Eh, I did okay here. I wanted to get myself off the computer in the evenings, and focus on doing some sewing, crafts, reading, etc. I did meet my reading goal, but I don't think I sewed anything all year. :(
*Learn to cross-country ski, and blog at least once a week. Goal sort of met. I did learn to cross-country ski (and I am now totally in love with it), and I did end up with an all-time yearly high of 66 blog posts, but I didn't blog regularly once a week, which is what I meant when I set the goal.

And on to 2014! Here's my tentative list....

Health and Fitness
*Lose 10 more pounds.
*Learn to skate ski, and take a ski class.

Home and Organization
*Follow my 4-Week Cleaning Schedule for 4 straight weeks.
*Have the whole family do Job Jars at least every other week.
*Paint one room in the house.
*Buy new bedspread.

Family and Spirituality
*Stay off phone/computer on weekdays when kids are awake.
*Pray daily.
*Set and maintain a routine for scripture study with the kids.
*Have a weekly Family Night.

*Read 50 books.
*Devote one night a week to sewing, crafting, or blogging.

Whew! That's going to be a challenge! Wish me luck!

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